slipped away

She approaches, tears in her eyes, contemplating the moment when her emotions got the better of her - when hurt crept in and crept up; containing it no longer an option. But what can she do? There is no where to hide.

She continues on and hopes no one will notice. Everyone so absorbed by their own tasks, trials, thoughts. Or, does she pray that someone will notice and save her from her despair?

She nears, tears in her eyes. I contemplate her position letting her pass me by. I watch as she walks away, torn. I've let her pass me by too many times to count. So many struggling, close enough to touch, whom I've let slip away.

Forgive me for letting you go.

ssshhhhh

low rhythms sound in my head.
the soft buzz of my laptop, the purr of my cat. the hiss of the heating system as it kicks in...my breath.
louder than all of them is the sound of my voice.
bouncing off the walls of my mind, my mental dialogue never ceases. conversations i have with my self are sometimes more exciting than those i have with other people...go figure. clearly i entertain myself. but when does it stop? how do i quiet the incessant chirp of my own voice? and why is it that i sound so much better on the inside?

sssshhhh....sssshhhhh...sssshhhhhhh - that's what i tell myself. some things are better left unresolved. some issues are better left in the hands of God, the only One who can help to resolve them. answers will come.

i know i will not hush my inner voice but i can limit my banter to the small stuff and leave the bigger things to Him.

life

i sit and i attempt to craft a pretty poem with pretty words but it does not come. i scribble and strike, i type and delete. there are times when pretty words just won't do. there are times when crafting should be left to artists. i am no artist.

i see, i feel, i write.
i live, i love, i am.
i hurt, i fear, i regret.
i cry, i laugh, i embrace.
i want, i need, i create.
i speak, i act, i exist.

...and this is what is at the heart of the matter.