who am i really scared of?

We are so scared of each other it's rather comical. We do our best to avoid another's gaze, we reject all signs of friendliness from others - dismissing those people as weird, we even feel unspoken contempt towards others, the angry new yorker waiting to erupt. In reality, we are just scared, we are protecting ourselves from the very thing that makes us human - social interaction.

I'm a gym fanatic, I take classes, see the same people every week yet neither party reaches out to the other. Instead I look at my fellow gym goers, half wanting to extend a friendly nod, half wanting to hide my eyes. I develop this almost "I'm better than they are attitude". But why?? When the very moment one of them makes a friendly gesture towards me I melt, chastising myself for not having reached out to them first or for not being more open.

There are some who are immune to this whole game. A friend of mine will talk to anyone anywhere. I admire that. While I hide she expresses herself openly.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments when I am "on" - and this form of social openness comes easy but it's not often enough. What's stopping me? Again, that's fear. The question to analyze further is how do I break this pattern? Imagine what a train ride in manhattan would be like if only we weren't so scared...if only I wasn't so scared.