will

Eyes transfixed to the light in the distance, she steps forward.
Drawn to it like a moth - its source unknown.
The light draws her near, playing with her sentiment like a dangling bauble waiting to become hers.
The light shines bright, belonging to no one but claimed by all.
Walking towards the light her decision has been made.
There is no turning back, come what may.

nature's salvation

the rain beating down on me felt like re-birth, a baptism of sorts. cool and refreshing pouring down from the sky it cleansed me, not only of the built up dirt and sweat but the mental stress and emotional baggage collected through out the day. i was released, set free...re-birthed. Free to forge ahead unburdened by the days circumstance. the rain poured down on me salvation, i turned my head to the heavens, opened my mouth and drank it up.

the heart of the matter

solid as a rock, its weight too much to bear.
cold and hard, it feeds the darkness.
gray and jagged, it fends off intruders.
this solid mass of guarded indecision blocking the path to freedom.

the source

the wonders of silence penetrate my being. it's as if another reality exists there. Like taking a vacation, silence is a state in which people travel to, not where they live. the ironic thing is that silence is like unchartered territory, there is so much to discover once you're there, no one would want to leave if they experienced it. the sounds that seem to exist only in silence are gifts. then come the thoughts and the supreme level of consideration of all things. it's called being present. and in this state, reality is sublime. one can almost reach out and touch the sounds that seem to make themselves known in this space. sad thing is, we travel there only on special occasions but it's always only a deep breath away. we live life at the speed of light, which doesn't allow us the time to enjoy the sounds of the leaves rustling as the wind pushes its way through them or most simply the sound of our own breathing. we are alive, we are vibrant as is everything that surrounds us. bask in a few moments of silence and take it in.

the buying and selling of bridges

family relationships are an interesting thing. there's that saying about how you don't get to pick your family...you love them anyway of course, because they are yours. i'm not suggesting that i would choose to change any of my family members, they all play a part in who i am and spice up my life in their own way. i am saying though that i may not really know all of my family. you know how that goes, i'm sure. well today i had an interesting exchange with my grandpa. crossing the verrazano bridge today my grandfather who's 75 (about), says to me - if i hit mega (lottery for those who don't know) i am going buy this bridge. i said - really? what are you going to do with it, to which he replied - i am going to build a house on it, and each of his kids will have a house on it too. it was probably one of the cutest things i've heard him say. it was cute but extremely odd at the same time. who builds homes on bridges? but i guess that's not important. i really wish i could've gotten into his head at that moment. was it his age that made him say such a thing, has he always been a dreamer and i didn't realize it, what else don't i know? i wonder. all i can say is that the rest of the ride i paid close attention to the things he did choose to say along the way because every bit could provide some insight into who my grandpa really is - not who i know him to be.

decisions

today's reality is yesterday's dream and tomorrow's memory. how easily today passes into tomorrow and becomes regret. regret for having saved for tomorrow what could have been done today. always believing there is another day, we hesitate and contemplate and forgo. forfeiting the opportunity to re-write our history because tomorrow is another day.

i'm listening

ever wake up with a thought in your head? it's the first thing that comes to you when you open your eyes. this morning it was "plant a seed". once i gathered my senses (after stretching, rubbing my eyes, looking at the time...) either i added this, or it was part of the message but on slight delay - "nurture it and watch it grow". these morning revelations are new to me but i believe they are answers to my prayers, my god's/guide's response to my conversations/requests. it follows the idea of intuition i think, "listen" to your gut. it's novel - put your "stuff" out there in the world and answers/direction will come. i'm sure it comes in different ways for different people. perhaps i listen better in the morning before the craziness and distraction of my work day begins. perhaps my personality needs direct statements because a more symbolic response may be overlooked...i don't expect to understand everything but i have begun to learn how to embrace these declarations. now, i suppose, it's my duty to plant a seed, nurture it and watch it grow. let's see what comes of this....

the true star of the show

A storm battled on in the distance. I could tell by the lights flashing in the sky as if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were walking amongst the clouds being photographed by angelic paparazzi. Some town miles away was getting battered by rain, wind, thunder and lightning while I sat comfortably on my parent's front porch admiring the light show and warm, firm breeze. Lightning cast a net across the sky showing its strength and reach and it was glorious. Having no sense how far away the storm really was I rocked on the porch swing recognizing the majesty of our world. The power the universe wields as electricity bounced from cloud to cloud lighting the sky to bear witness to the world below. What a fantastic display it was.

la belleza

beauty is in the eye of the beholder. i look around every day admiring the beauty in things that on the surface may not appear to be the most fabulous, picture perfect image or setting. in considering beauty looking beyond the traditional or conventional physical traits makes all the difference and all it takes is an extra bit of attention. i was walking down a street in manhattan, not the prettiest or cleanest street, it hadn't received all the tlc that wealthier neighborhoods receive but with all that said it didn't quite matter. the beauty was not in the physical aesthetic of this highly trafficked street but the vibrant energy that buzzed about me as i made my way to my destination. the people, the music, the culture is what radiated here and that was more beautiful to witness. the blessing of physical beauty may not exist in everything but inner beauty or that which lies beneath the surface in the quiet of a moment of reflection is aboundingly more precious.

ode to the dixie chicks and countless others

Aren't we lucky there is music to fit every mood we encounter - happy, sad, pensive, angry and on, and on. Nothing satiates our appetite better than music. Sure you can grab your favorite comfort food when you're feeling down or a beer when you're in party mode but nothing soothes our numerous, flighty moods like music. It's accessible, it's abundant, it's variety is seemingly endless (like our moods). Music reaches down to our core like nothing else can and becomes our companion through triumph and strife. I was thinking about this and realized behind the glitz and glamour behind every song is a person each with the same basic issues, feelings and needs as me. Music is not merely entertainment but a window into ourselves, a connection to one another.

shine

A nun boarded my train this morning. There was a momentary pause in activity as everyone stopped to stare at her in her pale blue garments. Not something you see everyday, that's for sure. I was overcome by a feeling of deep respect and appreciation. I do not refer to religious revelry by any means, but the self-knowing that her vocation represented. This woman had a calling and made a decision. This calling being one of commitment, love and dedication to god (based on who god is for her - insert your god here), in so doing she took on mankind. That's huge!

So I ask, what's your mission? What will you commit to? Start small if you like. But once you decide you will be changed forever and your calling will shine through no pale blue habit necessary.

The Wind

The wind stirs, as its howl echoes around me.

Unconsciously I sway as if its force could move me.

But it is the wind's song that guides my motion.

The wind is a stream of voices cutting through trees,

fondling impenetrable structures as it chooses its path.

It surrounds me as it sings,

blanketing my body as its song entices me.

"Listen to my song," the voices whisper,

"for I have traveled distances unimaginable,

soared through the skies

and danced in the company of the most uncommon of people.

I am eternity."

I listened, touched by the power of the wind's message,

singing of it's journeys, enveloping me in the strength of its song.

And I danced, for what was once the stir of the wind around me,

was now its rhythm beating inside of me.

written in 2003

a moment

He sang to me.

It was but a faded sound in the distance to start but as it drew near he touched my soul.

He sang to me and his soothing melody brought me back to younger days when life seemed simple and I ruled my world.

He sang to me and chiseled away my tough façade constructed brick by brick with my own cynical hands.

He sang to me and I gasped as he loosened the stranglehold of fear that had been suffocating me.

He sang to me and forced me out of my comfort zone as I lifted my gaze to admire the source of this infectious, penetrating voice.

He sang to me, engaged my soul and entertained my spirit but the moment was fleeting.

I reached out for him as his voice began to fade away, placed loose change in his cup and whispered thank you before he advanced to the next subway car.

He sang to me.